So what's my story?

So I'm new to this blogging deal. I've done it a few times before but never seriously. I would blog for maybe a week and then I'd quit.

I promise to keep up on this one.

Anywho, I don't know the rules of what is acceptable, what is cliche or what not so I am just going to start out by introducing myself. I am a 24 year old unmarried mother to a beautiful little girl named Kendall. She was born on August 11, 2008. Her father, Greg, and I have been together for almost a year. Yep only a year this October. We met on Match.com. I was in school at Penn State and he was here in Queens. I did a search for black men my age and he popped up. I was really only looking for a friend that I might be able to date once I got home. I was supposed to graduate in December of last year and I didn't want to have to find someone to hang out with on New Year's (ridiculously slutty I know).

Anyway, after talking for a month he decided he would drive up to PA to meet me and also drive me home for Thanksgiving break. Well needless to say we hit it off and we had sex on the first night...well every night during the 10 day duration of my Thanksgiving break. I don't know what the fuck I was smoking not using condoms but I blame it on the fact that I was on cloud nine. I didn't use my head and I wonder why it was such a surprise when I found out I was preggo.

I thought I wasn't pregnant because I was on birth control and I used the morning after pill but it seemed this was in the cards for me. I had taken a pregnancy test but it was negative probably because it was too early to take it. When I found I was pregnant I was in Walmart.

Yes Walmart.

It was four in the morning and my friends Cassandra and Tamaira and I were studying. We decided after careful consideration that I should take yet another pregnancy test. We went to Walmart right then and bought the two pack of First Response.

Two pink lines. On both tests.

Greg was down to have a kid with me (there wasn't even a second thought). We decided on names that night and it has been an adventure ever since.

The pregnancy wasn't too crazy, I gained 63lbs (shit!) and got stretch marks out the ass. I ended up laboring for 24 hours before getting an emergency C-section. 7 weeks post partum, I am 30lb lighter and missing my belly a little. I still have a ways to go. I might even be lighter now because I haven't been on a scale in weeks.

So far motherhood is nothing like I expected but at the same time everything I thought it would be. Of course there are ups and downs and everyday holds it surprises but all in all I wouldn't trade it for the world. That's what I started this blog for. I wanted to write down the things I go through on a daily basis.

Kendall has two Godmothers, one had my Godson in April and the other just left for London for a year last Thursday. I say this to say that there are people in my life who are at the same place as me and others who are so far from this that it's hard not to wonder where I would be if I weren't a Mom. I deal with these thoughts as well as thoughts of inadequacy and fear for the future.

My life has changed dramatically. What once took me 20 minutes now takes me all damn day. Like writing this entry for example. It has taken hours. I've changed three diapers, gotten spit up on twice and sang three lullabies before finishing. Not to mention being pregnant has slowed me down and I am not yet quite back up to speed. The things I wanted to do five years ago, shit even one year ago has changed. All for the better I hope.